Wednesday, May 12, 2010
HW 55
My research topic is: what are the primary reasons people cheat? First off, it is important to identify that people cheat for these 2 main reasons: 1. the person has fallen in love with someone else but doesn't want to tell the person they are with how they really feel, so they cheat and 2. the most common one: the guy/girl feels they are entitled to have anyone they want and think they can keep it under wraps but they can't. Some people don't want to be tied down and want to try new things more than with just one person. This article is specifically why men cheat and it has some interesting points: http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/quipstipsachievinggoals/love-relationships/learning-why-men-cheat-from-marriage-counselor-gary-neuman/. One of the points that this marriage counseler says is that men cheat "to get affirmation from 'the other woman." In class, we talked about affirmation and wanting to be well-liked so maybe the men who cheat want more people to like them and lust after them so they cheat to get the acknowledgement that more than one person likes them and it boosts their self-esteem. Another point is that "the men don't get enough attention at home." Again, they want people to notice them for something and even if it's doing something wrong like cheating, they will do it. People want to feel powerful which is another reason whay they do it.
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I think there is a lot to be said for your chosen question and i think it will be even more interesting because many people have different opinions on why people cheat and wether or not it is acceptable, it is very controversial. It would be very interesting to get both women and mens opinion on the subject and compare the two, i can only imagine that you would get very different responses from the two. I think another aspect about the questions that makes this a very interesting is how relatable it is, even to people our age. It seems that temptation is everywhere even if we love the person why are they not good enough. To make this question a little more interesting to kids out age maybe look into the music that we all listen to and analyze the lyrics. why have major music stars made cheating and being unfaithful cool?
ReplyDeleteJuliette,
ReplyDeleteI think you have a great topic. Almost everyone has something to say for why people cheat, and it often fuels debates. You give two theories for why you believe people stray; they have fallen in love with another person but don't want to tell their partner, and that they simply might feel entitled to "have" anyone they want.
While both of these theories might hold some truth, I would suggest narrowing your question down quite a bit so that through your research you are able to gain interesting insights. When you say "people", what demographic are you talking about? Is it men, or women? Is it someone who is married to the partner they cheat on, or not? Is it middle aged couples with kids, or teenagers? I think specifying the gender and age group is important because the reason why men cheat might be different then why women cheat, and the age group is key because at different stages in life, one might have different motives to cheat. In addition, married people might also have a different set of reasons that draw them to cheat, than an unmarried couple. You can even take into consideration economic status, which no doubt will have an effect on how available an affair is, as well as the reasons they choose to pursue one.
Looking at your analysis, one thing you could develop is extending your topic to how it ties into the larger picture. Maybe you could look into how children whose parents cheat are affected. Or maybe you could explore the idea of monogamy as whole; what causes us to want it and value it, and why is it important in sustaining a romance and family (or isn't, depending on your view).
Good job so far!
I think your question will be a tough one to answer. And female marriage counsellors exploring the reasons as to why MEN cheat seems a little one-sided. Its an interesting topic however. But i think only two main points doesn't open a window to the reasoning of why men cheat, there is probably millions of reasons and even ones us including the therapist have never considered. Try revising your topic question to make it even better.
ReplyDelete