HW 57

I think that a god parent is: someone who will love their child unconditionally, respects their kids, doesn't abuse them, is a good role model, smart, caring, and a little bit strict. I think parents should try to spend as much time with their kids as possible because the kids look up to you and need to learn from someone. That's why it's sad when I see those "Park Avenue-Type" nannies with kids in the playground on the weekend. If you don't want to be with your kids, why did you have them? It is fine to have a nanny during the week when the parents are working or send them to daycare or if both parents are busy one night the nanny can co9me but otherwise, a nanny shouldn't be taking on a 24/7 mother role. The kids will sometimes turn out messed up as they grow older because they never had anyone teaching them right from wrong. It's also important to give kids their space but not too much because that's how trouble starts. Parents should talk to their kids about important things and about what the right/wrong thing to do is and then the kid can use their judgement on what to do in certain situations because there is only so much a parent can do. Kids need to learn from their own mistakes but then the parents should be there to help them afterwards. I think that some of the things that young children should learn first is the most important things to the mother and/or father because those things will stick with them for the rest of their life.

I was parented in a household where I was obviously really loved and cared for by everybody-maybe even too much on my part. It was before my sister was born so basically I was the center of my family's universe. I was kind of a brat when I was younger and it was "my way or the highway". Then when my sister came, I wasn't the center of that anymore and I was so used to be the only kid that when my parents switched focus onto my sister, I got mad like most older siblings do. My parents always want me to be the responsible one and put a lot of pressure on me to do that. As I grew up and still today, my parents are very supportive of most things I do but there number 1 priority for me is my schooling and education. My parents aren't the type of parents to always congratulate me on something or as they say "give praise when there's nothing to praise." I get critiqued a lot by them and I don't get as many compliments from them. I still get them, though. They also keep on a sort of tight leash and don't let me do many things like they still control my TV watching time and are always ask me about my homework. They are great parents when it all comes down to it because they will always love me and taught me many tings. They also tolerate some of my BS. They get me mad a lot but I will never stop loving them. And even though they are kinda strict, I would take that over too lenient of a parent any day.

I read that article about attachment parenting. I think that when the baby is very young, the mother or both parents need to pay attention because babies can't do anything for themselves and need loving and nurturing, but as the baby grows up, the parents should start dettaching themselves from the kid a little bit (example: no more sleeping in the parents bed) because then they will always be attached to the parent and will have a hard time leaving them which is something kids need to do-independence is key in life and how else will they learn? Parents need to balance the time spent with kids.

HW 56

My topic is: what are the primary reasons people cheat?

Questions:
1. Do you think any part of a cheater feels bad?
2. In your opinion, what are the top 3 reasons people cheat?
3. Would you ever forgive a cheater?
4. Why do you think it is not as big of a deal if a woman cheats?

Dad:
1. Q: Do you think any part of a cheater feels bad?
A: It depends on the person and some people do it knowing it is wrong and just don't care because their desire is too strong but feel bad whereas other people have no sense that a commitment is important and feel like romance is like a buffet table where you can just take and not give back.
2. Q: In your opinion, what are the top 3 reasons people cheat?
A: Desire for sexual variety, the second reason is ego fulfillment, and a little excitement in life and thrill of romance because some people like drama in their lives. In other rare cases, the person just falls out of love with the other person but just doesn't want to tell them.
3. Q: Would you ever forgive a cheater?
A: It's impossible to say in advance and it depends what is going on in the relationship. It depends on nature of deception and how long it was going on. It also depends on how strong each person feels about the relationship. Life isn't that cut and dry. If we were strong, maybe I would but otherwise no.
4. Q: Why do you think it is not as big of a deal if a woman cheats?
A: I don't see a difference in that. It is both equally bad. Maybe people think that when a woman cheats it is because they have a jerk husband. I don't know why people would think one is worse than the other.

Friend 1:
1. Q: Do you think any part of a cheater feels bad?
A: No, because if they did, why would they cheat in the first place? I think that they would be sorry they got caught and nothing more.
2. Q: In your opinion, what are the top 3 reasons people cheat?
A: They cheat because they have a marriage or relationship that's collapsing and feel they need love, become bored of their significant other, and some people just feel entitled to have whoever.
3. Q: Would you ever forgive a cheater?
A: No because they weren't aware of the consequences that they did and they went behind my back.
4. Q: Why don't you think as big of a deal is made if a woman cheats?
A: No, because when a woman cheats, it doesn't happen a lot and when it does happen, people think its because they are lonely at home and not because they just feel like cheating.

Friend 2:
1. Q: Do you think any part of a cheater feels bad?
A: I think the ones who do it because they are unhappy in their marriage or relationship feel more bad than those who just do it for the hell of it.
2. Q: In your opinion, what are the top 3 reasons people cheat?
A: They fall in love with someone else, they want revenge on their partner and cheat, and the person just wants more people to be with and not be monagamous.
3. Q: Would you forgive a cheater?
A: It depends. If I felt the relationship was going nowhere than probably not I might just give up but if I really felt a deep connection with that person, I might try to save it.
4. Q: Do you feel as if it is portrayed that when a woman cheats, it's not made to be a huge deal?
A: I think it is a big deal either way but people think that a woman is the victim and to get out of a bad relationship, the only other option they have is to cheat. I don't think it's fair to do that because some women are like the cheating men and can't keep it in their pants.

I agree with everything that everyone said. I also think that people cheat because they are insecure about themselves and need affirmation in some way that they are still desired so they get that through cheating.

HW 55

My research topic is: what are the primary reasons people cheat? First off, it is important to identify that people cheat for these 2 main reasons: 1. the person has fallen in love with someone else but doesn't want to tell the person they are with how they really feel, so they cheat and 2. the most common one: the guy/girl feels they are entitled to have anyone they want and think they can keep it under wraps but they can't. Some people don't want to be tied down and want to try new things more than with just one person. This article is specifically why men cheat and it has some interesting points: http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/quipstipsachievinggoals/love-relationships/learning-why-men-cheat-from-marriage-counselor-gary-neuman/. One of the points that this marriage counseler says is that men cheat "to get affirmation from 'the other woman." In class, we talked about affirmation and wanting to be well-liked so maybe the men who cheat want more people to like them and lust after them so they cheat to get the acknowledgement that more than one person likes them and it boosts their self-esteem. Another point is that "the men don't get enough attention at home." Again, they want people to notice them for something and even if it's doing something wrong like cheating, they will do it. People want to feel powerful which is another reason whay they do it.

HW 54

I am an ESTP. Which is: Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, and Perceiving. I think I was mostly surprised by the extroverted because I can be extroverted at times but also introverted so I am in the middle with that one. I had to retake this test over a couple of times because sometimes I could feel that I wasn't being honest with myself or thinking hard enough about the question and I wanted to be as accurate as possible. I also noticed that I was in the middle for quite a few of these questions, which means I have balance in my personality. In addition, I sometimes had to ask my mom in one of the first tries, if she thought I was accurate about some of the statements describing me. I feel it's a bit easier to do that because it's helpful to have someone else's opinion about yourself but for me personally, I don't really "look" into my feelings or self a lot so maybe that's why it was a bit harder to dig deeper. I definitly think ESTP is me.

After I got these results, I clicked to see the Jung description of an ESTP and it said:
"content, emotionally stable, outgoing, social, group oriented, finisher, does not like to be alone, open, decisive, likes external praise, likes to be center of attention, frequently joking, adjusts easily, likes crowds, self confident, neutral moods, good at getting people to have fun, disorganized, messy, talented at presentation, not easily annoyed, does not like to be alone, enjoys crude jokes, likes to lead, likes sports, more likely to come off as masculine, risk taker, tends to dominate conversations, fearless, can handle criticism, hard to discourage."

I agree with most of these things such as can handle criticism and hard to discourage but other things that didn't fit me very well were fearless and risk taker. I am not those two things to a great extent only a little bit. In conclusion, I think that this test was somewhat accurate but at the same time, my results could be thrown off by how I answered one question. Also, there are different answers I have for these questions kind of depending on the day which might make it less accurate.

HW 53

While taking the survey, I felt like I could be honest because it was anonymous and there was nothing to hide from. Some questions that were easy to answer was the basic ones like is there violence in the house and if my parents use drugs. Some questions that were hard was the ones like the ones about friends such as: I have a friend that I know will stick with me throughout our lifetimes. Also, the questions about self/politics made m think because I had to really think about how I really behaved.

Some questions from the survey had interesting results. One example is of the friends question: you do stupid and/or things you don't particularly enjoy to fit in with your peers. The category with the most results was the maybe category. This is a bit shocking because I feel that most people don't like to admit that they do things to fit in because then they feel they will just be labeled followers and not unique so I think that by answering maybe, people knew this survey was anonymous and could be honest with their answer about this. I also think that there are some questions which some people had to have lied at like the one about ever being drunk and a majority of people said no. Most teens drink and get drunk so that is not true. Another possibility is that because not everyone took the survey, the results could be off.

I looked at the 2nd link of the professional survey that was done and I noticed that the questions about violence was much higher than the survey we did in SOF. That makes me believe that the survey was done in a bad area or school that had a lot of poverty. I will also assume that some of the students that took the professional survey might have come from a broken home where violence and weapons were present. Also, 75% of them said they drank alcohol so that's a big difference.

HW 52

My ideas on human relationships is that we usually have a closer relationship with our family than with our friends. This is because our family will always love us unconditionally and we love them unconditionally back and they know us the best because they helped raise us. We can make mistakes and they'll still have our back. Parents can be good to get advice and such from because they already went through some things and can help you but at the same time, they can still never let you live something down. But at the same time, it's hard to relate to our parents now and they ultimately have control over us until we are 18. I think it's sad when parents and children have a volatile relationship with one another because we are supposed to learn from our parents and hopefully be taught the right example from them and if there's a bad relationship going on, it will be very difficult for the child to learn how to act and in the worst case, live a good life.

I think that relationships with friends are also very important because they are usually the family we get to choose. We choose friends based on what we have in common with each other and our likes and dislikes. Trust is also a big thing because we want to know that our friends won't judge us, be able to keep something private, and won't be mean. Friends are obviously our age and know exactly what we are going through because it is probably happening to them also and parents can punish you for certain things whereas friends will not. If you have a bad friend (someone who is mean and does conniving things), it will be easier to dispose of them and not talk to them again, unless you have been friends with them for many years but in general, it is hard to dispose of friends, for me at least, unless they did something terrible to hurt me. But the main difference between friends and family is that I don't think that friendship guarentees unconditional love. Of course friends are like family and there will no doubt be times when there are fights but like family, you always get out of it and that's the sign of a true friend. But a friend gets to choose you and they aren't "yours" like your family is so if someone does something horrific to a friend like steal a boyfriend or spread lies, you will obviously not be liked by the other person at all. They most likely didn't grow up with you so they can just decide not to be friends with you if they want.

Relationships with a significant other is also very important. Again, just like with friends, a significant other is someone who you want to hang out with and be intimate with and who is generally "another version of you" in some cases. In general, couples teach each other things and balance each other out. For example, if there was a couple and 1 person was shy and the other outgoing, the difference in that is good because they aren't alike and one can relax the other or pump up the other. It is important to have some relationships because (not to be cliched) but love is a good feeling and you can confide more in the person once you get to know them very well. That being said, as important as significant other relationships are, you can't depend on that for happiness because you can't live for another person and base your life around the person.

HW 51

A very important topic in schooling, in my opinion, is: how much power do the teachers actually have in school and disciplining students. Many would think that the teachers and faculty of the school would have a say, which they do most of the time, but as you will see in my paper, other people also have a say.

The book I read was Academy X and in there, the parents have the bigger say in what goes on in the students lives because they have money and can tell
the teachers what to do. The teachers don't tell the parents how to do their work so neither should the parents.

While i was doing research on suspensions, I read that some schools suspend students or little things and they suspend students as young as kindergarten for things such as not listening to the teacher. People critiscized this because teachers need to learn how to handle students and only suspend them it is a serious problem like if a student wouldn't stop fighting. Also, students, especially at a young age, should also be suspended if they pose a threat to themselves or others around them. What could a young person possibly do? Some parents who had kids who got suspended said that it is pure laziness that their kids are suspended because the teachers just don't want to deal with the kids and think it is easier to just deal with suspensions.